Dear Stephanie Meyer
I would like a refund on the price I paid for “Breaking Dawn”(which thankfully I got on sale). It is the WORST book I have ever read, in fact I had to force myself to finish it. I also wouldn’t mind getting some money back on “New Moon” and “Eclipse”. I borrowed “Twilight” so I won’t be asking for any reimbursement. I have not only lost out on my hard earned money. I have also lost precious time and brain cells that I will never get back!!!
I actually feel DUMBer for having read Breaking Dawn!!! 756 pages of utter agony!! I actually had to force myself to finish the book…I felt like I was reading a book that was written by an emo and immature teenage girl. Although I should have just read this!!!
Breaking Dawn recap by Edward Cullen
http://community.livejournal.com/lion_lamb/1651773.html
It was much more entertaining and I wouldn't have had to read the other 754 pages of horribly boring and needless detail.
I am considering suing you for punitive damages I have suffered due to my having read Breaking Dawn. Initially I refused to read any of the Twilight books because all the YW were into them and I am a little more than leery over trendy Mormon books. But then my best friend recommended I read the books. I quickly read Twilight then moved eagerly on to New Moon and Eclipse. The books were poorly written yet proved to be entertaining enough. I was hoping all along that Bella would mature and stop being so unrealistic and aggravating and go for the “clearly better for her” Jacob. But alas I was predictably disappointed when she married the creepy Edward.
No one over 21 wanted Bella to marry Edward. Anyone older than 21 that was cheering for Edward is living in a romantic dream-land and needs to come down to reality!!! The portions of the book that particularly infuriated me were as follows:
The name Renesmee-
The STUPIDEST name I have ever heard!!! Worse than Shaniqua, D’Brickashaw, and Apple.
Jacob IMPRINTING on Renesmee-
What the HELL!!! He was in love with Bella, am I the ONLY one that is creeped out by this???
Suddenly calling Jasper “Jazz”-
On the 4th book this nickname finally comes out? Why did it take so long?
Vampire Sex-
Is Stephanie Meyer not gettin any at home? Vampire sex is just weird… what does this say about the author that she isn’t just saying about herself…ha ha ha…
I’m sure there are about 643 more reasons I hated the book, but if I write more I am just wasting more of my brain cells on the horrible wretched thing.
I have totaled my losses and will take payment immediately for damages suffered.
$12.97 Cost of Breaking Dawn
$1467.23 The cost for my precious time. The time it took to read the book.
$3, 876, 493 for the price of the brain cells that died while agonizing through the book. It may seem like a lot, but brain cells are irreplaceable. I am going to have to go back and get another college degree to make up for how dumb I feel now.
For a grand total of….. $3,877,973.10
I will take that in either a personal check, money order or cold hard CASH!!!!
Dating advice from Brigham Young
7 years ago
4 comments:
I am LOVING your BLOG! I totally agree. I am half way through NEW MOON and everyone tells me this is one of the more boring. I'm going to KILL Bella if other people don't. I did not like the ending of Twilight. AM I the only one who was excited for a fight scene battle when NOTHING happened? I am going to finish New Moon and maybe try eclipse. But, its not looking promising. I'm sticking with Nicholas Sparks. He's a much better writer if you are looking for characters that WORSHIP the heroine with out being too over the top and heroines that have a backbone or at least don't act like they'll faint whenever they smell their vampire boyfriends breath. I've dated guys like that, it usually doesn't get a second date and ends with me giving away all my altoids. ;D
It is bad. I mean from the few passages I read it was bad.
Why is this so popular? It's the romance right? Every woman I know is in love with Edward. Who is not a real person. He's also undead and 17.
The whole thing kinda weirds me out.
...Hey H... I actually have just decided to stop reading all together... I am going to see how long it takes for my mind to turn even MUSH-Y-ER!!!... I think I will just take to watching reality shows on MTV and see how long it will take me to digress back down the evolutionary chain...
Love this! I totally agree... I think we should get a class action lawsuit going so we can ALL reclaim what we have lost!
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