Mother’s Day as a SPINSTER

Mother’s Day always falls on Sunday. This year I forgot all about having to “deal with” Mother’s Day at church until I was getting ready that morning. The thought was almost enough to keep me from going to church at all. To make matters worse I had to teach RS and the lesson included the Laurels, the topic being honoring priesthood holders so that you can marry a good one in the temple….yada, yada, yada…

Every year in every family ward the men get the women some sort of gift for Mother’s Day which is generally a flower, but occasionally chocolates. When I say women, I mean all the women. Last I checked it was MOTHER’S DAY, not women’s day. So when I go to church on Mother’s Day there is nothing more annoying or PATRONIZING to me than a guy in the ward taking pity on me and trying to give me a flower even though I am not a mother.

At the end of Sacrament Meeting the counselor in the Bishopric stands up and tells the congregation that the men have special gift for the women in the ward. He then goes on to say that he was instructed on how to say this so as not to offend anyone, the gift is for all the mothers and the future mothers in the ward. I felt more PATRONIZED than ever. It was not FUTURE MOTHER’S DAY. It’s like he was saying ok we are going to include all the spinsters and baron women to help you feel better about your pitiful state.

I am not a mother; don’t point that out to me by giving me a flower that represents everything that I am not. And don’t give me something to make up for some conceived inadequacy you think I have because I am not married and don’t have children. Why do people feel like you have to be included in the cheap gifts to make you feel better about not having children? I even spoke with a single mother who said Mother’s Day at church is difficult for her as well.

It is a touchy subject for some women, but being called a future mother is condescending. It may be true someday, but not necessarily true in this life, so let’s deal with the present. If I don’t get a flower I am not going to fall apart and fall into a pit of despair. I was sitting with 3 of my fellow spinster friends in the ward and we all chose to go out the back door and avoid the awkward flower gift all together. It was a consensus in our group that getting a flower to honor you for something you are not just makes you feel worse about being a childless spinster instead of the fabulous single gal that you are!!!...